To Heal Toxic Femininity

Ra’al Ki Victorieux

Subjects like that of Jada and Will Smith, or Amber and Johnny Depp, invite us to notice and heal toxic femininity, and collective and historical wounds. It is a personal as well as a collective task to learn to recognize and cultivate the eternal feminine.

To Heal Toxic Femininity
To Heal Toxic Femininity

I. Medusa, and the healing of the maiden

The origins of Medusa are associated with female potentiality, with the moment of initiation into the secrets of life and consciousness. Pindar in 490 BC. C., imagines Medusa as a beautiful maiden, priestess of the temple of Athena, who was raped by the «Lord of the Sea», Poseidon, in the temple. She is then punished by Athena, turning the young woman’s hair into snakes, which turn anyone who sees her into stone. Being pregnant, she is beheaded by Perseus. Not content with turning her into a monster and beheading her, instead of giving her a holy burial and letting her rest in peace, they use her as a tool of war. The goddess Athena put her head on her shield, the aegis. Since classical Greek antiquity, the image of Medusa’s head has been depicted on the evil-warding device known as the Gorgoneion.

Medusa is a symbol not only of defense in times of war, but also of the centuries in which the eternal feminine was hurt, subdued, and used by the patriarchy. There are other similar symbols, such as the Coatlicue, called monstrous beauty, fragmented, buried, rediscovered, buried again, and rediscovered again. This sculpture from ancient Mexico both frightened and seduced those who discovered it with its significant richness. The important thing is that the archetypes do not die, they live on in the collective unconscious.

We must establish a new relationship with the feminine, one in harmony with the masculine since all human beings possess both strengths and potentialities. Some see poetry, the human soul as female, and willpower, the ability to focus on a goal until it materializes, as male. To be complete personas, we need to develop both masculine qualities, such as objective and critical thinking, as well as the feminine ones: high intuition and loving-kindness.

Revisiting the myth of Medusa, surely we will not find her alone… If we descend into the cave of wounded femininity, there will also be Coatlicue, Lilith, the ancestral mothers, including the Maleficent and evil stepmothers, the healers burned at the stake by the inquisition, and also giant spiders, ancient snakes, vital Goddesses: Freya, Eve, Shakti, sexual energy and that of the Earth. What kind of women have they tried to sell us in recent centuries? Can we free maidens, and priestesses from judgment? Why have women been denied much of their voice and their rights? Why does the rapist go unpunished and the victim is punished? How do put an end to rape culture and femicide? What process is necessary to restore Medusa to her virginal beauty? How to reconnect with the wisdom of the spiders to care for and protect the web of our relationships? How to make peace and redeem the kundalini energy? We must remove some masks, find the essence of the female archetypes, and reconstruct that symbolic reference in a way that enables us to become integrated humanity. Women and men, humanity as a whole, we working together to heal and recognize each other.

II. Birds of Prey or the Decoy to Romanticize Madness

Among the few female leads in the comic book world, we find Catwoman, and Harleen Quinzel / Harley Quinn: A former certified psychiatrist who became a crazed criminal and accomplice/girlfriend of the Joker, and later a part of the Suicide Squad, and central character in Birds of Prey: And the Fantabulous Emancipation of One Harley Quinn. Harley is known to have a variety of disorders: she has multiple personalities, homicidal tendencies, Stockholm syndrome, and possibly a «shared psychotic disorder.» Stories have power. When talking about the necessary female emancipation we talk about feeding toxic, insane, and violent femininity, we are wrong. Hollywood and social networks like Facebook or Instagram can pass for many things but they are not innocent when promoting as role models those who are clearly altered in their mental faculties.

His vanity is greater than his intelligence.

Common saying

Frequently, they are full of themselves, vain individuals, who manifest some personality traits that are considered abusive or violent. These people, due to a lack of honesty of integrity with themselves, often do not recognize that they need professional attention, and have no desire to change or heal. Because it is precisely their deviant personality, what allows them to «get away with it» in a materialistic and vain society. We are talking about the set of psychological mechanisms and internal traits of an individual, which determine how he interacts and adapts to his physical, social, and intrapsychic environment.

Toxic femininity is frequently associated with personality disorders in cluster B. They have elements of emotional variability, dramatization, and unpredictability in common. Specifically, these are histrionic, narcissistic, borderline, and/or antisocial people.

Histrionic Personality Disorder

People have self-centered and manipulative attitudes, they like to attract attention. They have a theatrical and reactive behavior with intense dramatic manifestations. Their interpersonal relationships are usually superficial.

Narcissistic Personality Disorder

They exhibit constant fantasies of success, feelings of grandiosity, and a compulsive need to gain admiration and attention. They have low empathy, and are not usually affected by criticism.

Borderline Personality Disorder

The name explains that this person is on the edge, on the edge of sanity. It has high instability in interpersonal behavior, identity, self-image and mood. They experience an inner emptiness and may be impulsive.

Antisocial Personality Disorder

They have an inclination to violate and despise the rights of others. They can be impulsive.

III. Ways to Heal the Eternal Feminine

The healing processes are usually simple, imply a radical acceptance of the situation, the purification of what causes the conflict, and the creation, and energization of the most positive in the given situation. Of course, in practice, it is more complex, and generally healing is not a straight line, but rather a path of self-discovery. It is good to attend to our physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual aspects. We can go to ask for the support of professionals in each area, however, the most important thing is that we maintain the will to be the best possible version of ourselves.

The more people, men, and women work on their own healing, the more possible the healing of social psychology, and of our beloved planet.

I hope you found this article interesting, thanks for commenting and sharing. I invite you to acquire my books at this link.

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