Why Narcissistic Mothers hate their Daughters?

Narcissistic mothers often see their daughters as threats, projecting their self-loathing onto them. Daughters must focus on healing, set boundaries, and create supportive relationships for growth. #Healing #Boundaries 💖✨ https://wp.me/p3JLEZ-70x

Understanding the complexities of a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship is essential for anyone seeking to break free from cycles of emotional abuse and cultivate a healthy sense of self. This information provides valuable insights into the behaviors and motivations of narcissistic mothers, empowering daughters to recognize their worth, set boundaries, and focus on healing. By exploring these dynamics, readers can gain the tools necessary to transform their relationships and foster supportive connections that promote personal growth and emotional well-being. Embrace the journey toward self-discovery and reclaim your voice—this knowledge could be the first step towards a brighter, healthier future.

1. She sees her daughter as a direct threat. The attention, admiration, love, and emotional supply, are not all for her, those are shared with their daughter, and she doesn’t like that. In a way, the narcissistic mother wants her daughter to be perfect, but in another way, when the daughter tries to be the best she can be, the mother resents the attention her daughter gets.
2. Narcissist mothers are very self-loathing. They pretend to be a happy-go-lucky people to everybody else, but inside, they are very self-loathing, and this criticism is projected onto her daughter. Every bad thing that the mother feels about herself, is redirected to her daughter. Let’s say, if the mother thinks she has a weight or a beauty problem, she is gonna criticize her daughter’s weight or looks, calling her obese, fat, ugly, or blaming her for not being fit, thin, or beautiful enough. If the mother thinks she is not successful, she is gonna demand her daughter get social or professional recognition. But even if the daughter delivers, if she gets to be beautiful or get professional success, the mother will take the credit for herself: “-Look, how my motherly sacrifices finally are rewarded”, and will fail to see the effort, sacrifices, or work of her own daughter in her way to shine. It is a confusing and disappointing situation for the daughter to be in. If the mother has trauma in her story, such as sexual abuse or family trauma, she is also gonna pass those wounds to her daughter, using her as a punching bag.
3. As daughters get more mature, they begin to push back on their mom, (reclaiming independence) causing a narcissistic injury to the mother. A narcissistic mother likes a dependent daughter, a “mini-me”, a minion or servant, but is angry with a daughter who wants to defend her own voice and her authentic self. “-How dare you? You are here to serve my purpose.” They see their children as tools, or an appendix to fulfill their needs. That is a deep wound to the narcissistic mother who maybe, did had not have the courage, will, or determination to follow her own dreams. That’s why she tries to control their kids so that she can live through their achievements. But, it is even worse if the mom never was successful and the daughter gains some kind of public recognition because that makes her more jealous. It is kind of: “-If I couldn’t do it, you can’t do it either. It’s bad if you don’t succeed, and worse if you do”.
4. If she has a son, she will idolize the son, but criticize the daughter. A narcissistic mom is gonna create drama between their sons. Usually, she is gonna emotionally abusive with the daughter, while being supportive of the son. She will idolize the son, even if the son is not a good or successful person. The mother will put the brother against the daughter, creating an ugly negative sibling situation.

What can you do?

If you are a daughter in this situation, there are some recommendations:

1. Focus on your well-being and personal development: Heal your heart, heal your inner child. Learn to differentiate the triggers (those things said or done that throw you into negative flashbacks) and develop tools for physical, emotional, and spiritual contention.
2. Learn to put boundaries in your mother-daughter relationship. See her as a simple woman, with lights and shadows (not as the loving mother she can not be, even if you would like that), and treat her as you would treat another adult woman; without demanding what she can not be. Engage in a relationship with courtesy for your needs (in the first place), and her needs (in a balanced manner, not as an everyday priority). Remember you are worthy of love and respect.
3. If even after you have worked on the healing of your children’s wounds, in the development of your contention tools, self-affirmation, and dialogue abilities, the relation is still negative and detrimental to your well-being, then you could think that the best for you could be to end the relationship. If someone is not able to see you as you are and respect you, even if it is your mom, maybe the best is to limit or avoid any contact.
4. If your family of origin isn’t nurturing, focus on creating your own family of loving colleagues and friends. You even can ponder the idea of finding a replacement mom (a spiritual leader, a teacher, a good friend, or a deity such as the Virgin Mary or Buda Quan Ying), some women figure you can admire and relate to… you can learn about their lives, to focus on them as a resource for wisdom, loving guidance, and strength. If your mother was a force preventing your contact with your parent or brothers, find also a relatable masculine figure and work to integrate their gifts of will, focus, and work, in your life. I am not in any way suggesting that you date an older man or woman, if you do, you are could be still trapped on Daddy or Mommy unresolved issues. What I want to say is: work on making peace with the divine feminine, and the divine masculine, those are forces available to all and exist beyond our personal family history. Rescue, reconstruct yourself, with all the universe gifts you deserve.

Conclusion

Navigating the labyrinth of a narcissistic mother-daughter relationship can be incredibly challenging, yet it is possible to emerge from it stronger and more self-aware. Recognizing the dynamics at play allows daughters to reclaim their power, redefine their self-worth, and build healthier relationships. By focusing on personal healing and establishing firm boundaries, daughters can create a protective barrier against emotional harm.

The journey toward healing is not linear, and daughters may experience moments of doubt and struggle. However, surrounding oneself with supportive connections can foster resilience and growth. Embracing the lessons learned from these experiences can lead to profound self-discovery, allowing individuals to break free from the chains of the past and pave the way toward a more fulfilling future.

Ultimately, daughters are encouraged to prioritize their well-being, nurture their inner selves, and seek out positive relationships that encourage growth. By stepping away from toxic dynamics and learning to appreciate their inherent value, they can embark on a transformative journey toward self-empowerment and embrace a life rich with potential and authenticity.

Keep on reading

The Assumption of Mary

• Mother and Father; Madonna
• Chihuateteo Mothers in War for Life
• The Impact of Toxic Narcissistic Mothers
• Godmothered: Updating Ideals and Fairy tales
• The Forty-Year-Old Version
• Seven women who changed social work
• Meditations for Healing Trauma by Wolfgang Arndt

Understanding Complex PTSD and Narcissistic Abuse in Childhood

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